Screaming Blue Messiahs 'I Wanna Be A Flintstone'

Here's a new year treat. A forgotten classic from a great guitarist and band. Yabba-dabba-dooooooooo!

70s Public Information Film - Alvin Stardust (Kids Heroes)

Here's a reminder to keep yerself safe crossing the road when you've had a Christmas drink.
If you were about nine years old and saw Alvin coming at you with that dyed quiff and big verdant sideys you'd be more likely to run back into the traffic i would think.
Alvin was a sticker though he'd been in Billy Fury movies + Shane Fenton and the Fentones before having his big glam rock hits and just when you'd thought he'd had his chunk of fame he went to number four on the charts with "Pretend" on Stiff records. He does West End musicals now.
"We must be out of our tiny minds".

Merry Xmas

Merry Xmas to all fans, groupies and followers of the mighty Bad Detectives may your zimmer frames never rust.
It's funny but even though i am skint and my credit card is sorely troubled by seasonal excess i have an almost irresistible Boxing Day urge to go out and invest in a new kitchen/bathroom with a red leather corner ensemble sofa and flat pack coffee table. I am going back to watch more festive commercial telly now to see if i can figure out why!

Duck and Cover-1951

Imminent nuclear explosion? Just hide under your desk or picnic blanket - Bert the Turtle shows you how. This looks very funny and folksy now but in the 50's the paranoia about commies and the bomb was in full swing. Apart from public service messages like this nearly every sci-fi film had a "reds under the bed" sub-plot which makes excellent viewing for bad movie freaks like m'self.

Teenagers From Outer Space

Apparently there is juvenile delinquency in outer space, at least there was in the late 50's. This is one of those good/bad movies that was the direct inspiration ( or as i like to call it "steal" ) for our song of the same name. The effects aren't bad for the time and budget but the pedigree of the film is that Warners purchased it as a job lot to be the support for a Godzilla sequel called Gojira no gyakushu - class!
They couldn't afford the giant lobster so it only appears in shadow - oh and all the teenagers look older than even the schoolkids in "Grease".
See it if you dare...

Radio Show

Been too busy to do a lot on here lately because of the radio show but i'll get back on it soon. If you've enjoyed the show (or if you haven't) leave a message on the Bad Detectives guestbook on the main website. You can listen again to the shows on the Bad Detectives profile at the Frome FM website.

My Teenage Fallout Queen

A hymn of praise to the atomic age.

Farrington Hootenanny

We supported Jon Clare and the Fabulous Dough Boys at Farrington village hall on Sat. To be honest "village hall" doesn't do the place justice as it's a superb venue fitted out with the latest acoustic tiles and curtains giving a really clean sound quality. Many thanks to Clint for getting us the gig and to Trev, Geoff, Dave and anyone i've forgotten for help and multi-media support.
We were very well received and are delighted that we are being invited back in the future. We recorded the gig and if it comes out alright we may have some video and audio to post soon.

Watch the trailer for WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY

This looks like a realy pointless and tasteless spoof - so all good there then. Jack White plays Elvis and the film sends up just about every rock 'n' roll biog' cliche going. Could be a good 'un.

Ricky Nelson Rockabilly - 3 songs featuring James Burton

Ricky Nelson possibly the best teen idol ever. One reason for this being James Burton playing lead guitar on all his early hits. This was thought to be throwaway stuff in it's time but is actually superb.

The Thekla

Tagged along with Paul, Ivan and Steve to the newly re-opened Thekla last Sunday night. It's been done up a bit and i think it's a pretty good venue.

We saw Kelly Stoltz who i liked - good tunes and a tight little band, Blitzen Trapper - sort of spikey art rockers very tight performance - passed the quality test and headliners Two Gallants - a monotonous, miserable drum/guitar duo who left me cold. The audio equivalent of getting all your teeth pulled out they had one gloomy song which they repeated ad nauseum until they decided to make it worse by slowing it down for the encore - dreadful.

If they were in reverse order it wouldn't have been a bad night, still gave me an excuse for a good moan.

The Olympics - Western movie

Now i've got that off me chest - here's some good Olympics.

The Olympics

I see they've published the design for the new Olympic stadium - it'll be half the size after the games 'cos they're ripping out a load of seats on the top tier. The reason for this is that the Olympics are over hyped crap and after the games athletics will return to it's non prime time spot in the schedules. Just like those compendiums of games you used to get for Christmas where they put a load of rubbish pastimes like snakes and ladders, ludo and dominoes together hoping that you would think quantity equaled quality they stick a massive amount of minority interest sports together to fool governments and punters into thinking they are getting great value for money.

There's very little interest from the younger generation - when was the last time your kids left home saying they were just nipping over the field to chuck a javelin about or they started moaning at you 'cos they couldn't find their throwing hammer and their best dressage jodphurs were in the wash. The best way to indulge in the interest that these sports hold for an elite few would be to digitise the whole thing and hold it online = no expensive stadia to build, no carbon footprint to speak of and no hours of training so anyone with access to the net could have a go.

There you go Seb sort it out.

Unknown Hinson - Venus Bound

Talking about country gone crazy this bloke is an absolute one-off!

Webb Wilder

I like Webb he's country gone crazy. Nice tune smart video.

Languages

It says in the paper today that fewer people are taking up the option of learning new languages as part of their education. There are two reasons for this - the first is that we English have always preferred talking slowly and loudly to foreigners rather than actually attempting to converse in the dialect of the country we're visiting - the second is that unless we are starring in a major concert to raise awareness of global warning we're not really allowed to go abroad any more because of our carbon footprint.
Speaking of carbon footprints my lovely lady wife has spilt her mascara powder on our light coloured bedroom carpet creating a proper good carbon footprint problem right on my own doorstep. The first thing i tried was to offset it by planting an acorn in the back garden but this hasn't moved the stain probably 'cos they take so long to grow. So at the start of the week i put some cress seeds on a bit of blotting paper and they've shot up however there has been no effect on the stain which rather undermines the theories of some of the finest scientific minds in the world. Carbon offsetting doesn't work remember folks you read it here first!

STATUS QUO - DOWN THE DUSTPIPE

Back in the early '70s UK Stiffs singer Grant and myself were like little lost lambs looking for some music to get excited about and to be honest there wasn't much choice.
We liked the Who and i nearly wore out my copy of Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy. So we liked the Status Quo - and what's not to like? There's a winning formula here when they can pin it down.

BARRENCE WHITFIELD Stop Twistin My Arm

No explanation - no excuses - it's time for some rock n' roll!

Flamin' Groovies Slow Death 1972 (with sound !)

Here's a delightful bit of archive footage of one of my favorite pre-punk bands. These lads have been in the dressing up box!

The Pleasers 'You Don't Know'

I'm still on a powerpop kick.Anyone else remember Thames beat?

Danse Macabre

Although recovering from man-flu i was determined not to miss our old friends Animals and Men performing at the Masonic Hall last friday evening. There was a mixed crowd of vampires, monsters and werewolves on hand to drink in the multi-media delights of the event. The night was warmed up with a mix of back projection and d.j. sets followed by the support which consisted of sort of free form jamming over a loop. I met up with Andy Strad's (legendary harmonica and keyboard player with the B.D's) and we enjoyed a pint at the bar whilst agreeing that the computer backing track was a tool of the devil.
The main attraction though was right up our street. The thumping throbbing backbeat and relentless drum attack of Animals and Men hit the spot straight away. They performed with a sloppy genius which, when i spoke to him at the end, Ralph thought was not up to scratch. He was unhappy with the sound but i have to say out front it came across as pretty good. Anyhow - who wants perfection? When you get that there's nowhere else to go.

TONIGHT DRUMMER MAN

This is another one of those songs that i suppose are a powerpop guilty pleasure. I've got to own up i love this mockney vocals and all and have the single somewhere.

Animals and Men

Most of the band are going to Frome's Masonic Hall to watch our old friend Ralph's band Animals and Men on Friday evening. This promises to be a cracking night out with a couple of bands in a unique atmosphere billed as Danse Macabre. I urge you to attend - it's refreshing to see bands making the effort to organise events such as this in the town.

Rezillos - destination venus

I'm in a good mood so here's a classic!

Radio 2

It's been a pretty good week this week all in. A couple of people stopped me and said they'd heard "Mole Man " on Radio 2 but couldn't give any firm details as to who played it but i tracked it down to Steve Lamacq - sitting in for Bob Harris. National radio eh? Rock"n" roll........ phew!
Then we got a nice little write up in the Somerset Standard so i popped into the Griff' for a swift pint and was entertained by the fabulous Leonardo's Bicycle. Mike and Andy are associates of my cousin Joss from when he resided in that there big black smoke. They performed a tight quirky and melodic set of carefully chosen tunage - they are playing at the Olive Tree in Frome on Oct 18th and at Oxjam at the Merlin on the 25th you should go and see them they're tip-top talent.
The Stiffs are on at the Riverside in Midsomer Murder this Sat so i'll probably hitch a lift to that and regale you with any stories that rear their ugly heads on the night.

Wreckless Eric - A Pop Song

And what do you need to become a broadcasting supremo? That's right....you need a pop song - here's one Eric Goulden made earlier.

W.B.A.D. Radio

Looks like we'll be back on the air with our local radio spot in November. The proposed dates are Fri 23rd, Mon 26th - Fri 30th around the time of the crazy consumer free for all that is the Frome extravaganza. More information nearer the date but there will probably be the usual chances to text and e-mail us with requests and comments. Expect special guests of the lowest order and prizes of the level of quality you might receive at a timeshare presentation.

The music however will, as always, be of the finest distinction.

Don't touch that dial!

Johnny Rivers - The Snake

The northern soul classic version was a minor hit for Al Wilson but Johnny Rivers produced it and here's his take on the song. Johnny ran the Whiskey A Go Go house band in the early sixties and was a bit of a mover and shaker on the L.A. scene. Huge in America and a bit of a personal favorite of mine he never realy registered on the U.K. radar maybe 'cos he was a tad "showbiz" often donning the tux' for t.v. appearances.

The Muffs - Lucky Guy

All i've got to say about this is it's proper good.

Downloads

I see that the Charlatains new album is going to be released free off the net and that Radiohead are inviting people to pay whatever they feel for their new tracks. I've had a look and there isn't a box that you can tick where Thom Yorke has to pay me money to listen to the whiny student shite they put out these days (i used to quite like them until his "performance face" started to go all scary - like an inverse Dorian Gray he 's got a handsome great portrait hidden in one of his attics). The other thing is they can afford to do it, once you've got a bloody great house with more rooms than you could possibly need and a hybrid car to knob on about at dinner parties where do you go? More useless rooms and a green car with an engine that runs on re-cycled fridges? It's pointless! They don't need the money.

Lets face it music distribution is changing and the record company giants seem unable to keep up with the pace, but the two events noted above are red herrings that have gained the bands publicity worth more than the cash they are likely to lose on the downloads - job done - result!

My problem these days is there is too much music. Stuff you like from the past, tracks from the vaults that have been re-released and all the new releases as well as stuff on the radio that you don't want to hear but can't avoid - it's music overload.

However with the support of the various quality filters (magazines, mates and listening to it illegally before you consider purchasing it) we will cope.

Elvis sings ACDC

They had a competition on the telly to find the worlds best Elvis last saturday - this is much more fun.

Double Neck Guitar

This is a picture of Elvis with his Gibson S.G. double neck guitar. I used to have a copy S.G. standard - not a bad guitar - played it for ages but whoever decided that it would gain in some way by adding an extra neck was severely deluded! It was never the most attractive of guitars most of them seem to be a turdy reddy brown hue and the neck is a bit wide for my stubby little fingers. I played a proper one that a skinhead fella was trying to flog in the bar of the Angel hotel once (couldn't afford it, dubious origins and didn't really want one any way) so i've handled the genuine article anyhow i digress.

The fact that i wrote the song Double Neck Guitar probably says more about me than the actual instrument - it's hard enough to play a guitar with one neck and set of pots, pick-ups and switches never mind two. If you haven't heard the track check it out it's on our new c.d. but you can listen to it at various other sites - you'll have gathered by now it's not a love song.

Jimmy Page was big on this particular "axe" at one time i can't believe that someone who could have his pick of any guitar would want one, the stories about Led Zepp's party lifestyle must be true you'd have to be on drugs to choose this. Mr Page did redeem himself somewhat by using a fantastic Danelectro at odd intervals so swings and roundabouts. I've put a picture of that on to deflect the bad double neck karma but that suit he's wearing is attracting it again.

My head hurts.

The Mole Man

When i was a mere slip of a teenager there was a sweet shop and tobacconists at the top of Catherine Hill in Frome where you could buy Marvel comics. Not the cheap monochrome British editions of the stories but the real thing shipped as ballast from America and rubber stamped with the price in shillings and pence (D.C. titles could be found at Wards in Cheap St). My copies are long gone but the memory is still fresh.

One of the comics was an early edition of the Fantastic Four where they battle the Mole Man. Moley lived in a hollow Earth, had an army of mindless drones to do his bidding, some sort of earthquake device plus a gert big monster thing at his command. I think he also had a bit of a crush on the invisible girl Sue Storm but i could be wrong. He had no super powers of his own and was a bit crap as a villain. He was ugly , troll like and squinty eyed but, as i was scribbling lyrics on a bit of scrap paper one day, he popped into my memory and the tale of true love that is "I'm In Love With The Mole Man's Girl"was born.

It's not just me that remembers him fondly - there's a character in the Simpsons called Hans Moleman and Bravo have a show called "Saul of the Molemen" that airs amongst their late night cartoon slots.

Marcel Marceau

I think mimes are very much like Marmite you either love or hate them. I love Marmite (not as good as Bovril though) but hate mimes. The most famous of all mimes has passed away - the one who taught Bowie to get stuck in a glass box - no sorry that was second-hand through Lindsay Kemp one of Mr Marceau's students (i must be more accurate).

Anyway.....

I just can't get this picture out of my head. Marcel's family are sat on the sofa watching the telly whilst at the back of the room Marcel suddenly gurns and rolls his eyes. He points theatrically at his chest and then waves his arms in the manner of a drowning man, eliciting no response he silently points at his rib cage and begins to clutch at his throat the family continues to watch t.v. unaware of his distress. Meanwhile he sinks slowly to the floor in a rubber legged fashion simultaneously holding his nose as he disappears from view behind the couch.

It's what he would have wanted - mime in peace.

highway patrol junior brown

Here's what country music should sound like. That combination six string steel guitar is a thing of wonder.

Count Five - Psychotic Reaction

Here's a classic - the Detectives used to cover this right at the start of our sordid career. Dig the sitar guitar and the way the harp player annoys the drummer.

STANDELLS SOMETIMES GOOD GUYS DON'T WEAR WHITE

I've calmed down now so here's the Standells

Geoff Barker

We had another play on the radio last Sat' (courtesy of a request - no less!) on the Geoff Barker show.

Geoff's an unusual beast in these post-Peel days 'cos Geoff champions bands. If you don't know who Mr Barker is try listening to his Saturday Rock "n" Roll Party on local BBC radio across the west of England.

Now, there are many d j.s who support up and coming bands who have a chance of success but, Geoff gives air time to bands he knows are never gonna be massive - he puts them on his show 'cos he likes them and they bash round the various small venues and festivals giving people enjoyment.

He puts the wrong track on now and again, loses bits of paper with requests on and gets the gigs a bit muddled up sometimes - but isn't that fantastic in this age of super slick broadcasting - it's a breath of fresh air! His programme gets a large national and international number of hits on the listen again facility so it's not just me who likes it.

I listen to commercial local stations at work and they never seem to feature local bands in fact unless they are sponsoring a local event they tend not to get overly involved with the music scene in the area at all. They also seem to have a fetish for mainstream eighties synth pop i swear 3TR f.m. or whatever it's called played "Don't you want me?" by the Human League four days on the trot last time i was on night shift in fact the whole night shift programming is so dull it's unbelievable but it's not always my choice what station we tune in to so i have to experience it.

They should hand over the airwaves from midnight to six to someone who really likes music and let them get on with it, at the moment the music is just there to fill in the gaps between their crappy wacky ads for carpets and plastic guttering.

So more like Geoff and less nights with Simple Minds broadcasting on a permanent loop.

Thursday Night Live!

It hasn't quite got the ring of Fri or Sat night live but it'll do.
Played down the Crown as advertised - bit of an up and down gig - sound wasn't dire but it wasn't brilliant. Good crowd in early, petered out a bit half way through then went mad at the end. As usual you play for over two hours people only get pissed enough to dance for the last half-hour and the ask "aren't you gonna do any more?".
Alan Wilson legendary C.E.O. of Western Star our record label turned up and stayed for a bit but was lured away by the tempting offer of two for one curries at the local take-away.

Crown Inn

We're playing at the Crown in Frome town centre on thurs. The band has a history with the venue we used to have a Sunday residency there for a while back in the day and did a gig there on the night of Chas and Di's wedding (Bunce was grounded and had to escape down a drainpipe from his bedroom window to make the date).

We did a farewell party there when a former landlord left - there was a food fight and an argument about a lock-in which precipitated a mini riot through the town centre - Police were involved as Ivan and I calmly watched from a second storey window whilst drinking free ale.

The Somerset Standard at the time quoted the Police as saying "as the fight rolled down Bath St it was like a scene from the film Zulu".

It was so long ago the town centre probably resembled the above pic.

Happy days.

Holiday Attractions

This is the first sea-side hol's we've taken without the kids so we never needed to seek out those activities that rainy days take you to - you know local farms and parks that promise Universal Studios and deliver universal disappointment.

Looking around though i have some suggestions for improvement - amalgamation that's the key! How about Monkey Tank World tanks, right, driven by monkeys it couldn't miss. Liven up a gloomy day with a visit to the Tollpuddle Martyrs of the Caribbean pirate union museum. Negotiations not going too well - fifty strokes of the cat. Disciplinary procedure - 1st keelhaul warning + final written plank - I'd join.

Anyway we had a jolly good time and so did our mutts Buddy and Ollie - see above.

Mark + Michele's Wedding

Just got back from a weeks holiday which we put on hold for a day to go to our old friend Wils' wedding. The invitations were sent by word of mouth but all the guests managed to gravitate to the right place at the right time. The organist at St Mary's church seemed to have taken the brown acid and was only using the bass and treble keys on the keyboard but the ceremony passed with nary a hitch. On to the reception at a large marquee just nor' west of Rudge.



Superb food, embarrassing anecdotes and quaffage of grape and grain followed. The Detectives played during the evening entertainment which ended with karaoke style versions of Teenage Kicks, Take the Skinheads Bowling, the Banana Splits song and a scraped together attempt at Dirty Ol' Town - lovely sub X-Factor vocals from Mike Tozer and Mark himself. Apologies to my cuss' Joss' mate Justin we were just too pissed to attempt the Ramones cover.



Andy nearly didn't make it as we had forgotten to tell him the venue, Paul got hammered (but still kept the beat), Steve stepped in on bass for the finale, Chris Andy and myself dredged up songs we hadn't played for years and Ivan had to BUY! a pint.



The lovely Gill was unsure about the whole invitation business as she has not had our experience of Mr Wilsons "piss-up in a brewery" approach to organising his entire life but had to admit it was a fine day out. Oh, and she also saved the day by nipping back to Frome to fetch the decks from our garage as the bloody disco - some bloke Sinjun or something like that (paid in advance no less) failed to turn up.



D.J Eyeball Paul stood in and kept the dancefloor grooving as the night slowly wound down.

Mojo Nixon

More Elvis related madness from Mojo Nixon. This one's for Andy Strads.

Rode Festival

Went over to this fantastic little festival about Sunday tea-time. Saw the tail end of Tessa Bickers set as the sun started to sink slowly toward the horizon - very laid back.
Next up were Patchway Theft we played the Cheese and Grain with them earlier in the year and these boys can really play but they are better when they don't noodle on too much. Very tight and gifted players with a great sound.
We were on next and the sound decided to go all wrong, Andy's squeeze box fed back like a bastard so we just knocked a few songs out of the set and carried on. We were nearly finished by the time the sound got a bit better but people still enjoyed it i'm told - we'll come back next year and do a bit better.
Stiffs up next and Grant started on the audience and d.j.s before a note had been played. The band were properly fired up and got the audience dancing into the dusk. Only five complaints about Grant's swearing but, as he said, "nine o clock - right it's after the f***ing watershed".
Big G only swears between the songs but Up the Rebels swear during theirs, songs about living in Frome accompanied by acrobatic stage climbing antics, most entertaining!
Last up were the Rock Pirates who took an age to get ready. They were like a cartoon of a hair metal band and performed an irony free set of eighties style metal anthems - no thanks lads.
Look forward to next year and promise to do a ten minute sound check rather than the usual five so we can get all the gear working.

Mojo Nixon

Mojo Nixon

Elvis died on my birthday in 1977 when i was 22. I had a skewed perspective on the king 'cos i only really perceived his fat Vegas era persona and the fact that he allowed himself to be managed by a cash obsessed carnival huckster with no feeling for the music.
I've seen the light now though - in his early incarnation he was a fantastic natural performer with a fans ear for quality tunes. Time and circumstances bought him low but he kick started a movement that couldn't be stopped and for that i salute him ....and so does Mojo Nixon!

Rode Festival

Were playing at this festival on Sunday with our old friends the U.K. Stiffs. Grant (long time personal friend and potty mouthed Stiffs lead singer) has recently been diagnosed with canine septaphilia this is a very rare disease that means you drink in dog pints. Therefore every pint that he drinks is equal to seven pints for a normal person - this clears up a lot of mysteries such as when he claims to have drunk 21 pints of Guinness and you know he's had three.
More info here- http://www.rodevillage.info/.

Groovie Ghoulies - Running With Bigfoot

Just found out that this great Sacremento band have split up. Hugely influenced by the Ramones and with great funny tunes - check 'em out.

Buckland Beer Festival

Ivan won a couple of free tickets to the Buckland Beer Fest on Sat so at about 4.00 in the afternoon we booked Gill's taxi and headed off for a look. They were unlucky with the weather again (nobody's actually been lucky with the weather this year) but the site is well set up and will be more successful year by year if it keeps going.

The first band we saw were Electric Ladyland and they showed some real promise. Nice and noisy they performed with real confidence - i'd watch them again. They keep their telecasters polished, shiny and clean so extra marks for that.

Next up were a two piece country act named Lincoln County after a shaky start they warmed up a bit and the sax player went for a walk into the field with his radio mike. I don't think they can have been going long but they kept us occupied as we began to sample the ale.

Neo-Geek were the next band on and i liked them a lot. They were spikey and melodic with interesting songs and lots of good ideas. They had a sound of their own and weren't too over the top on stage. Visit them here http://www.myspace.com/neogeekspace .

For some reason there was a gap in the entertainment at this point which was used as an opportunity to purchase junk food and sample more ale. I'd review some of the beers only i can't tell the difference between them half the time i certainly can't detect "a soupcon of barbed wire and angel's tears with nuances of rusty stinging nettles" the only one i wished i'd remembered was the one i had to chuck away 'cos it tasted like nasty cough mixture (even Ivan couldn't drink it and i offered it to him for free!).

I didn't catch the name of the next ensemble but they were very well turned out and played a mixture of western swing , country, and gospel - good! + some jazz - bad!
I had great hopes for the Jerichova skiffle band but they were a bit poor on the night. The sound was bad - couldn't hear the singing - reasonable choice of covers but no real oomph.

The Operation were up next and proved to be the most popular act of the evening. They were confidant and forceful on stage with the plus that they have a couple of good tunes in their locker. The show was slick and energetic one of the best of the young local bands around at the moment. One minor criticism they reminded me of the Stereophonics on a couple of occasions and i can't stand the bloody Stereophonics (like everyone else i only liked the drummer and they sacked him).

The final band i saw - there were more but we went home - were Crescent Shoreline. Despite having the whole of the Operation's set to get their gear ready they still took another half an hour to get ready to play and frankly it wasn't worth the wait. I suppose they think they are being avant garde by having no discernable tune and not being able to keep time but they're not. Just a messy, muddy, shouty racket. We left them to it as did most of the remaining crowd.

And so, as Samuel Pepys would say, to bed.

Album, vid' & guitar

Good news! We've finally received the reprinted Cd's so we'll be vending this fine piece of work to all points of the compass as of now. Officially we are now big in Sweden as a rather fine record store there has ordered some of our product check it out at http://www.burmans.com/ .
The Alligator Rosie video is finished and is very good Alan has done his usual sterling work in the editing suite and has created order out of our usual chaos. All three vids will be out in the Autumn so more news then.
I have just ordered a Gretsch "Way Out West" guitar the design of which features cows being abducted by flying saucers whilst terrified cartoon cowboys flee from the scene. Hard not to purchase such a fine conceptual instrument really. See pic's for full effect.

Sorted

Went over to Western Star Towers today to do some final close-ups for the Alligator Rosie video. This should be the final addition to Alan's compilation which is being sponsored, i believe, by the large independent distributor Cherry Red. The back of the recording studio doubled for Gatorville Alabama and the shots are, as they say, "in the can".
Got home to news that the CD insert is sorted and the updated discs should be here this week - so we'll be flogging them over the website and at gigs in the very near future.

Video Shoot

Up with the Lark and hungover on Sunday for the completion of the Alligator Rosie video shoot. The first part was recorded at Fusell's Ironworks Mells and consisted of us dressing in a redneck manner whilst mucking about in the old ruins. We then moved on to the duckpond at Great Elm where we met up with Andy who came back from holiday briefly to finish his bit.

This included wading into the river fully dressed, wearing a mullet wig, playing the Cajun Mellodian and fighting an inflatable toy Alligator. I believe at this point the spirit of Ingmar Bergman was hovering over us. Alan (Wilson - legendary Western Star house producer) did his usual fine job of directing proceedings and keeping it all together.

A very confused crowd of people congregated on the bridge to watch the stupidness unfold.

This is the final video of three we have made and will be released on a compilation later in the year. More news of that when the release date looms.

The Big Gig

Followed the UK Stiffs out to Gurney Slade on Saturday night. We all felt like a few drinks so a large taxi was booked. The gig was great lots of local bands and the crowd was up for it. The problem for our point of view was the gig began to run late and we had to get home. Paul, Ivan and myself had to rise early the next day for a video shoot. In the end we just made it to the entrance gate before our cab arrived.
The Stiffs were on blinding form - Chris broke the bass drum - the only drawback was some exhibitionist woman who decided she was a star and wouldn't get off the stage. Grant heaped severe and graphic abuse on her person but it made no difference at all she was like a sticky blonde winnit!
The set up at the farm was first class good sound and a nice little sheltered stage + plenty of junk food and beer.

UK Stiffs - Charity Gig + 'Tecs Vid' Shoot

The Stiffs are playing in Gurney Slade tomorrow night on behalf of the Madeleine Mc Cann appeal more information from http://www.myspace.com/theukstiffs. I shall be going along and will be reporting on the event. I hear that Grant has asked for a barrel of cider on the backstage rider so it could be an interesting night.

This Sunday the Bad Detectives are finishing off their video for Alligator Rosie at a secret location in deepest darkest Somerset. The venue obviously must remain undercover in case crowds of screaming fans turn up, ruin the shoot and pester the band when they go for a pint in the Talbot afterwards.

Weymouth Flyer

I've just heard that our song Weymouth Flyer is going to get a play on the radio this Saturday. Geoff Barker has supported our little band since we first started seriously recording and he will be playing the track on his Saturday Rock "n" Roll Party show this weekend.

I only ever used to make train journeys over a few routes - up to London for entertainment, to Bristol to watch football and in my memory the best of all down to Weymouth for days out. There are loads of great American train songs so i thought i'd write some lyrics that reflected a different point of view concerning riding the rails. Those American place names seem so exiting and exotic so i'm supposing the glamour of Castle Cary and Pen Mill will have a similar effect on the casual foreign listener. Brunel built our station and he was a visionary genius but in photos he looks a bit of a shortarse so maybe Tom Cruise could play him on screen in God's Wonderful Railway -The Movie!

Geoff's show is on most of the BBC local stations in the west country or you can find it on-line on http://www.bbc.co.uk/bristol/content/articles/2006/03/02/listenagain_fulllist_feature.shtml.

The Boys - Brickfield Night

Just to cheer myself up after the artwork calamity i've posted one of my favourite also-ran punk era songs "Brickfield Nights" by the Boys. I don't know why but i love this (i think it's the drum sound). Anyhow, enjoy!

Whoops!

Just a quick one this - there's been a problem with the artwork on the cd so were waiting to find out what we're gonna do. Should only be a slight delay but we want to get it right so bear with us. The same image appears on two pages of the booklet and one page has been missed out completely and it needs to be re-done.

This is what Paul did to his guitar when he found out.

Kilmersdon - rock city

Tagged along with The UK Stiffs to Kilmersdon village hall on Saturday where they were supporting top Who tribute band Who's Next. After dropping off a couple of bits of gear it was straight down the Jolliffe Arms for a pint. This is where Grant performs his pre-gig ritual of getting the delicate balance between junk food, pints of beer and sweariness exactly right.

Paul, Steve and Chris returned to the venue to do technical stuff but Grant felt he was a pint and a half short of optimum verbal rubbish spouting so we stayed on.

Later at the show he proved to be on top of his game baiting some of the older villagers and relating how he had shaved his conker sack for a recent visit to France. I think that was probably a bad move - if you want to fit in on the continent grow all patches of bodily hair to at least two inches in length. However i digress, both bands were superb on the night and well worth the admission money. I missed a small section of the Who's Next performance when the organisers distracted me with free hog roast but not as much as they distracted Chris who had six portions!

The hall wasn't packed but this was one of the most enjoyable shows i've seen from these two outfits - thanks to Alex, Craig and co for the full on sweaty performance. Kilmersdon is home to the famous Jack 'n' Jill hill so i was disappointed that the comatose ale casualty lying in the beer recovery position at the back of the gig wasn't attended to with vinegar and brown paper, still can't have everything.

Wrap Party

Friday evening saw the end of term awards for the Frome FM community radio project and all the band attended. Phil Moakes handed out awards in various categories for the shows and we were proud to win one for the most downloaded spot. The prize was a 1972 NME annual purchased by Phil from e-bay and Paul would not let it out of his clutches for the rest of the night (i think he liked the photos of Robert Plant and Rod Stewart). Other vintage annuals (no, not Over Fifties magazine) were given for best interview show etc along with Phil's powerpoint display of "skin of our teeth" broadcasting.

It is planned to revive the station, funding permitting, in time for the Frome Extravaganza later in the year and hopefully we will be involved again. Thanks to everyone who listened to us, friends who dropped by and all the organisers at the station. Most of the work from the bands point of view was done by Paul, Andy and Ivan who hosted all the shows with Chris and myself turning up when we could.

As the crowd thinned out the red carpet was rolled away and we were last at the bar, as usual, so we headed for the bright lights of the town and made it as far as the Blue Boar - twenty yards away. Here we were incredibly lucky to witness some fantastic karaoke performances up to the standard of early rounds of the x-factor. Except for my wife Gill who was in fact superb!

Looking forward to next time.

Dr Feelgood - She Does It Right

This clip is from a program called the Geordie Scene it used to go out in the H.T.V. area at about midday on Sunday just about the time i usually arose from a night out. The presenter was a dreadful Jimmy Saville wannabe called Dave Eager who dressed in the most appalling deckchair striped jumpsuits and once fronted a band called Dave Eager and the Beavers!

This was the first time i saw the Feelgoods on t.v. They had quite a few other groups on, i seem to remember seeing Shakin' Stevens, Mungo Jerry and The Sweet but nothing could touch this performance from the Doctor. I have a pirate copy of the whole show but the quality is poor and it's in black and white - someone somewhere has a reasonable colour rip and i envy them. If you ever see it watch out for the bit where Mr Eager tries to force feed young girls in the audience with stotty cakes. Oh yeah i've just remembered there was a dreadful cabaret style performance by Showaddywaddy one particularly hungover Lord's day morn'.

Cannabis Cabinet

I see in the papers that Labour M.P.'s are queueing up to admit they smoked a bit of blow in their youth. The provisos with this are, they only did it a couple of times, it was peer pressure at a party, they didn't enjoy it, it was someone else's stash, they're very sorry and that they feel it gives them an advantage in dealing with the issue of drugs in society. Mr Cameron however is remaining "tight-lipped" on the subject.

Tell you what it would be nice for one of them to actually tell the truth and say "Yeah i did all sorts at Uni', bloody loved it - smashed off me tits every Saturday night. I'd love to do it now, get back from the Commons after an all nighter, skin up a big bifter, Marley on the stereo, bass up to eleven. Bangin'!!! Only i can't because some fake sheik from the News of the Screws or one of those persistent bleeders from the Daily Mail would catch me out and ruin my cushy little earner". Pity - i'd vote for them.

In town centres all over England the police have set up testing stations using swabs to find out if pub and club goers are on anything. This they will inform you is in the public interest in the war against drugs. They should set one up in the bars at Westminster catch all those coked up spin-doctors as they're glad handing the leaders of industry for peerages and donations (allegedly). Only that would, in all probability, not be in the public interest at all but would be an enormous violation of their human rights.

Free Beer

Went out to the Griff' last night for some ale. They pay us in beer for the gigs we play so we can get caned free for a few sessions i also pick up some tab for designing pump clips. Whilst partaking of the free beverisation provided i began to get a sneaking feeling of guilt in the back of my mind then i realised what it was - taxation!

Obviously we need to pay taxes on the buckshee neck-oil but the way forward is not so clear. Sending roughly a third of a pint, per round, through the post is problematic. My solution is this - the local excise department needs to send an officer to sit in on the drinking sessions and he should drink every third sip. The man for the job should be of a thirsty nature as sessions involving whole bands could take a bit of a toll on his constitution and he should also be required to provide thirty-three and a third of the conversation. The person concerned would also need to make sure that he was up to date on his tetanus shots etc specially when sharing a glass with the Detectives/Stiffs.

How can this benefit the nation as a whole i hear you say. The proceedings could be recorded on a video camera and podcasts supplied via the Internet for people to download and enjoy. Early morning showings on the televisions in electrical shop windows would enable tramps and dirty stop-outs to feel included in the initiative. I shall be e-mailing the new chancellor with my proposals so read the financial sections for more news.

Biggles

We were talking in the pub at the weekend about the success of Harry Potter and Ivan wanted to know why no one read Biggles books any more. Maybe it's the loss of empire, changing attitudes to our European neighbours, etc but i think it's the lack of good swearing in them.

You see during the war swearing was rationed and only certain low-impact cuss words were allowed "oh sugar" i hear you say "that's a bit of a shakey-do" and you'd be right! Right up to 1957 the word "bollocks" would cost you a weeks worth of swearing coupons. The stronger exclamations could often only be uttered by societies who had pooled their vouchers and would take turns to pronounce a syllable whilst marching in tight formation. The best of these was known as The Blue Arrows they would perform swearing displays at local pageants and country fairs. The general public tired of standing in swearing queues (some younger children didn't even know what "bugger" sounded like until four years after the war) ate it up but the gradual increase in imported swearwords from America, under the Arsehole plan, led to a decline in interest.

This makes the books too tame for modern tastes so gorblimey guvnor they're not gonna come back into flippin' fashion. Lumme what a swiz!

Glastonbury

I see Michael Eavis has told the N.M.E. that he wants to attract younger festival goers next year as the "vibe" was unbalanced this time. I went over on the Sunday when the Who, Bootleg Beatles, and Shirley Bassey were on - surely with a cutting edge line-up like that on he couldn't fail to pull the teenagers in. Last time it was Brian Wilson and Paul McCartney next year Eartha Kitt might be appropriate.

I know there is a diversity of fine young bands but there is also the most family friendly atmosphere as well. Circus acts and a whole field of children's entertainment are not gonna pull in the teens to twenties. His idea of selling more tickets by phone as he believes that middle aged punters have greater access to broadband doesn't ring true either (not in this house anyway). I can't prise my kids off the computer with a crowbar!

Then there is the loyalty factor i've been attending and supporting this festival for years, i like it and i'd like to go again even though i'm getting a bit rusty in the joints - nah, not that kind.

This might be doing Mr Eavis a disservice but perhaps his corporate sponsors are worried about his demographics, maybe he's become ageist or could he just be sucking up to the N.M.E. If he really wanted more youngsters he'd make the tickets cheaper. Yeah fat chance!

Still i like him and he's doggedly kept the show going all these years under enormous pressure 'till the powers that be have had to accept it's here to stay - perhaps that's the problem the Glastonbury Festival isn't fighting the man any more and is leaking "cool".

Good luck Michael but i'm not with you on this one.

Stripchords + Bad Detectives

Just been to pick up the gear from the pub. Last nights gig was great fun. Despite tough competition from two of the Stranglers there was a good crowd at the Griffin and they were treated to a unique entertainment.
The Stripchords mission statement is "tits "n" twang" and that was duly delivered - they served up some crisp retro sounding instrumentals whilst projecting some vintage pulchritude for the audiences delectation. This is just the stuff for the festival, entertaining, barrier breaking, audio visual meltdown. Tasty and tastefully tasteless. Well i know what i mean.
With a new album due out in a matter of days, alongside some old faves, the Bad Detectives previewed some of the tracks from the new disc. Bubble Car, Double Neck Guitar , Who Cut Your Hair and Rattlesnake Oil to name but many. The crowd was up for it and the show was over all too quickly. Apologies for the lack of an encore but there was a strict curfew on the music as the neighbours are revolting. Does that sound right?
Thanks to the Griffin, the Stripchords - for trekking all the way down from London, Craig for the sounds and everyone who dropped in.

U.K. Stiffs + Nocturnal Sunshine

Dead busy up the Griff last night with the debut gig for Warminster band Nocturnal Sunshine. They really hit the spot with churning punk rhythms containing just a hint of their ska/pop influences. The funniest thing is that the singer is the long lost younger look alike of the U.K. Stiffs singer Grant. For a first time appearance they were tight, confident, and their front man is an absolute natural performer. Great aggresive drumming and choppy guitar work go and see 'em if they are in your area.
Grant's just back from France and the Stiffs hadn't played in a while but they performed a sloppily brilliant set even though he decked a litre (he's gone metric now) of neat vodka - or so he tells me - from what appeared to be a mineral water bottle. Mmmmm.......
The place was packed and the audience was up for it from the start. Steve shrugged off his injury worries. Paul and Chris bashed out the hits of '77 in double quick time with the audience singing along if it wasn't for the local environmental health enforcement order they could have played all night.
We're on tonight with the Stripchords so come along if you can.
p.s. Grant is 50.

B-Movie Beat

We've got our new c.d. coming out soon - in an unbiased fashion i have to say it's jolly good. This means our next release will be the "difficult" third album. Due to our regional location we may be looking to call it "Be 'Yer Now", or maybe not.

This is what the cover looks like, all the tracks were produced by Alan Wilson and us at his Western Star studio near Bristol.

When it clears the pressing plant (i don't think they still call them that do they) i'll post some more information about the various songs and lyrics.

Live Earth

Here's a thought, instead of being lectured to by insincere millionaire singers with nine homes to heat/air-condition about leaving your t.v. on standby why not lower your carbon footprint by going to watch a local band. If you live in the Frome area go and watch the U.K.Stiffs tonight at the Griffin Inn or us, the Bad Detectives, on Saturday night.
You get support from Nocturnal Sunshine and the Stripchords, it all runs off a couple of thirteen amp sockets, they brew the beer out back, and entry is FREE!

Pub Rock

Pub rock has become derided these days and is viewed as a postscript to Punk but i think it was far more important than that.
Here's why.
Gigs where you were supposed to sit down in a fog of dope smoke and quietly nod your head.
Bands who had songs that took up four sides of a double album.
The same songs that required an honours degree in music to attempt playing.
Remote dinosaur musicians living on trout farms in Surrey (or on entire personal islands in Scotland).
Giant concerts where the musicians look like ants.
Tie dyes and flares.
Double neck guitars.
Anything by Yes.
Fawning music reporters initiated into the backstage lifestyle providing arselicking reviews of the latest concept album.
etc etc etbloodycetera....
The pub rockers started the process that blew away the worst of these excesses - you could get near them, they had a bit of balls, the songs were simpler an shorter and in my case you thought "hang on - i could have a go at this".
These days even bands like Blondie admit to being influenced by Dr Feelgood (the first line-up, but more of that later) and certainly the attitude of young bands like Eddie and the Hot Rods paved the way for punk and the venues they opened up in London gave the punks more places to play.
It was a turning point for me - three chord songs, not much gear, small venues that looked full with about eighteen people in them and all your mates jumping about having a good time. Heaven in a pint glass. You could have a punt at it and the Bad Detectives are still out there still trying to nail it.

Bad Radio

This week the Bad Detectives have been given a local radio show to promote the Frome festival. This is an annual event designed to showcase drama,art and music in the town.
I'm gutted i can't do all the shows because i am on night shift but i have been listening in. The lads - Paul, Andy, Ivan and Chris have been doing a bang up job playing a mix of rock 'n' roll, punk, surf, soul and blues. To say they haven't been treating the radio format seriously is an understatement with rambling competitions featuring dubious winners, tenuous links, and a reduction in reviewing techniques to "that was good/rubbish".
On second thoughts thats just what radio needs - you know when you listen to most mainstream presenters they have been given a playlist and on many occasions are playing songs they absolutely hate but have to call "fantastic, great , wonderful and poptastic". I didn't always like what John Peel played but i knew that he did!
So long live the Bad Detectives radio hour (and a half) broadcasting mavericks one and all.